I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
