If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Green mimosas i think yes
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
