how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
