Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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