Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
