if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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