All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
