i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
