Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
