Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Im part way to drunk.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
