porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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