Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
