There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
