at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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