Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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