I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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