Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
love makes seman taste better
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
