I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
