yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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