Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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