Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
not ubering you a puppy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
