They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
