And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
