just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
