pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
two words: eviction party
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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