I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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