yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
