walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
