haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
