That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
operation have a gay friend backfired
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I love you.
Bad choice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
