i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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