your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
