It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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