i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
