yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
