I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We left the knife in your bed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We are all done wearing pants today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
