my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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