Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
