6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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