His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
