People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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