Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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