How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
