Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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