So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My dad is sitting where you rode me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
