bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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