Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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