get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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