Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
