I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
