i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
