drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize