I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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